The disease has begun. The transformation is upon me. I have yet to relinquish wearing my bra, thank God for small miracles. And, I still have put on my make up, but mostly because it’s required for me to receive the specialized SPF formula in my lovely Estee Lauder foundation. All of which could potentially be threatened if the disease takes over fully.
I can’t exactly say when I contracted this, but my guess is sometime in the wee hours of the morning it must have slipped in under the door and found its way into my slumbering head. It has rendered my rational thoughts into one’s with no logic given the full understanding of what ocean sun does to pink white skin.
I am fully aware of these things and you would think in my sane mind the first trip to the store wouldn’t be for just deodorant or a new tank top. One could assume the intelligent action would be the one that provided me with a bottle of sunscreen. Unless of course, the disease had already perverted my thinking and beckoned me to sit upon the beach, unprotected like a hormonal teen on a first date.
The disease rotted my brain into believing I wasn’t getting burned or turning into something altogether, different. I started out the day as a woman and it is now with great confidence I can say with absolute, I’m no longer a woman, but a lobster.
A very largish, black haired and slightly feminine lobster. That’s right. Lobster. There’s no imagination in this as figurative speech, but in actuality a real lobster. I have been turned from white pink to blustering red in a matter of hours. It’s not that I mind the color, but I must say, it doesn’t quite match the estee lauder foundation color of “Pebble” and even if it did, my eyeshadow is all wrong. I’m not sure if I have acquired a keen sense of swimming yet, or even if lobsters swim at all given the opportunity. But, I shall not chance it today and opt for more lobster discovery tomorrow when the sun is highest in the sky.
I do hope it’s not lobster season as I’m not quite interested in finding myself flayed out on someone’s dinner plate either. I do think that might hamper my discovery adventures. I don’t think I’d be a great catch anyway, I’m rather large for most stock pots so I’ll have to pray this will keep me safe longer than if I were a wee smaller size.
Besides, if I remember correctly lobster is often tough and chewy. Who wants to eat that for a premium…although from the looks of it, lots would.
I should have only hoped for ever becoming one of those Floridan hobos, but instead, I’ve become a creature worthy of an aquarium. Perhaps this is the greatest folly of them all.
Thanks for reading ❤️
Prophecies Tea 